Tommy woke up. Everything in this house is gay, he thought. His room was gay, it was way too small. His dog was gay, it wouldn’t shut up. His sister was gay, she took too long in the bathroom. His breakfast was gay, eggs. Before he got onto the gay school bus (the gay driver always told him he wasn’t going to wait if he was late again) he kissed his mom, which was so gay. Through the first gay periods he drew pictures of his gay teachers. He walked down the gay hallways before reaching his gay locker, opened it, and grabbed a different set of gay books. The next gay classes dragged on, and soon it was time for lunch. Lunch was a bologna sandwich, which was gay. He only had enough money for gay milk, so while all of his gay friends were drinking pepsi, which is so gay because coke is better, he drank milk. Gay. He went to gym, where he put on his gay uniform, and did gay laps around the gay gym with the gay picture of the school mascot painted on the wall. The Vikings: gay. A few more gay classes, and he got back on the gay bus, and went to his gay house before finally getting to the computer. His internet was being gay so it took him a long time to connect to instant messenger. This computer is so gay sometimes, tommy though. When he heard the gay “ding” that meant that he was connected he finally smiled. His boyfriend sent him a simple message, “Hey babe! Hope U had a good day! Luv U!” and it was the first not-gay thing that Tommy had happen all day.