Friday, January 28, 2011

LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

this is from February:

Dear Women,

I would preface this with a request for y'all not to get offended, but that seems like a moot point. With all your hormones and periods and body image issues, that would be like telling the air not to be made up of mostly nitrogen. But aside from the pro-fem, vag warriors that will send me some REALLY nasty emails (were any of them to read this), I think we are both mature enough for me to say what I'm going to say. Enough circular writing, let's get to brass tacks!

If a man isn't treating you right, leave. If you think you can change him, try, fail, and leave. If you can't change him, and he isn't treating you right, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP BITCHING ABOUT IT! If you bring something up to him in a calm fashion, without being overly critical, chances are they will either show that, no, they REALLY are that big of a douche so go fuck yourself, or they will do that whole change thing Obama went on about. Either way, this is working to solve a problem, not piss and moan.

Now, this isn't why I'm writing you. No, I know that most of you know these things. I REALLY want to talk about how you handle situations when those of you who DON'T get it rub you the wrong way. Let me break this down:

Acceptable way of telling your friend that her boyfriend is a cockhat: "Hey girl, your boyfriend is a cockhat. Men shouldn't take naked pictures of you sleeping, and then sell them to jr. high boys in restaurant bathrooms. Also, I notice that he gave you the nickname 'cunt bitch.' That isn's right. You should probably leave him."

Unacceptable way of telling your friend that her boyfriend is a cockhat: "Sally McAveragewoman: OMG! LEIK SOMETIME'S GURLZ DONT UNDERSTAND THAT MEN R PEICES OF SH!T!!!! HE WILL NVR CHANGE!! GURLZ CAN BE SO F**KING STUPID!"

Do you see where this could hurt your friend's feelings? Do you see the apostrophe in the word "sometimes"? That shit happens. So not only are you acting like a total chick tool, but you also are now acting like a total fucking stupid chick tool. This DOESN'T EVER HELP!

Women have it pretty bad, getting paid less money, having smaller brains, all that sandwich making... So why do you guys feel like making internal enemies? Shouldn't you answer a call for help with a warm tone instead of coming off like some kind of super bitch?

Should a man really have to say this?

well, whatever. I see you all the time, everywhere, so I guess I'll catch you later. Enjoy your infighting! Oh! and next time use some goddamn Miracle Whip or I will straight lose my shit.

Deuces

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